Just Say No to Toxic Positivity

Written by: Rachael Thomas

Listen – it’s OK to not be happy all the time. Sadness, anger, disappointment, and other not-so-great emotions are normal reactions to upsetting situations in life.

During those times it’s easy to think “it could be worse” or to “look on the bright side.” But when we force ourselves to ignore or invalidate those bad feelings, that’s when we venture into toxic positivity.

The behavior is defined as “the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset,” writes author and speaker Kendra Cherry for Verywell Mind.

Toxic positivity can even become dangerous. The factors of toxic positivity that can pose a threat to wellbeing are communication issues, lower self-esteem, and not seeking help when experiencing real harm. And a 1997 study showed that suppressing feelings can cause more psychological stress.

Simply put, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Being realistic about your emotions and managing them are good ways to avoid toxic positivity and support your overall wellbeing. And when others are going through their own hard times, the most important thing to do is listen and provide a safe space, rather than be quick to tell them everything will be OK.